What You May Never Understand

You know, I was once a little kid and remember things that never made sense to me. Like, why do parents have to go to work? Or why Christmas was only once a year? I mean, really, those are very real confusions of a child. However, children have this amazing ability to forgive and forget. It blows my mind. I can get so mad at Carter for something, to the point where I feel bad that I was so mad, and 20 minutes later, he is hugging me and telling me how much he loves me. They also have this awesome ability to forget things that they need to remember. How often do I say, "Carter, pick your toys up?" He KNOWS I am going to ask him to pick the toys up. Yet, he acts like I am speaking a foreign language when I ask him. I have noticed, however, when I explain something to him and hold his hand through understanding a concept, he is a whole lot more likely to adapt and understand. We totally still fight about the same crap... picking up toys, not throwing rocks, brushing teeth etc. We are in no way an exception to those tasks. But, if you ask Carter why we brush our teeth, he will simply tell you that if you don't, they will grow bugs in them like the Grinch.

My point? Well, I wish I could be more like a child sometimes. The resilient creatures that they are... How I envy their ability to forgive and forget. They never give up on people. They never intentionally overstep boundaries that are hurtful. (Unless peeing your pants or eating too many sweets hurts you..) You can devastate them by taking away their favorite toy or sticking them in timeout, but at the end of the day, they love you more than you have ever been loved.

What a huge blessing my sweet Carter has been to me and in my life. Sometimes, I just want to crawl in a hole and die, because my day was so hellish. Then I see that face... Those dimples, the giant brown eyes, the smell of his lotion, the tiny hands that fit so perfect in mine, the smile he gets when he sees me after work and I KNOW that there is nothing else in my life that I will cherish more than being a mom, and more so, being Carter's mom. So tomorrow, when I am ready to give the kid to my mom or send him to boarding school, I need to remember that he is my world and nothing will ever change that. He is my greatest accomplishment and I am forever thankful for the joy he continually brings to me.

That's all. (: