Outer Limits

Shane bribed Carter to be a good boy and we would go to Outer Limits. It is like a game/playland place. Anyway... they had a blast until it was time to go.

Carter winning his tickets

Shane had to climb the jungle gym to fetch Carter. (He is going to kill me for posting this!) I was hysterically laughing, Shane was not.

This sums it up...

Here are some random pictures of our little family of 4. Gosh, we are blessed!

Boston 1 month old

The trio

Like Father, Like son

Big Boy clothes, 2 months old

Boston in the backpack going for a walk

First Smiles

Shane bought Carter this as a bribe to get potty trained. Epic Fail.

Shane and Kit bought a dump truck together. The boys HAD to get in it.

With Brothers around, Who Needs Friends?

Carter has been an exceptional big brother. He loves Boston SO much. A little too much... He has been such a sweet helper and so involved. I am happy. I thought he may be jealous. Not the case, at all!

Boston being mauled at 1 week old

My 2 Buzz Lightyears

No comment necessary

My little men

Carter reading to his brother

Carter "helping" feed Boston

Carter meets Boston

This is Our Life

Well, now that life is back to "normal" and I am feeling better, I must continue the blogging experience. Here is a glimpse into the first month or so with Boston home. Holy cow, it has been crazy busy, but we are so happy he is here.

Boston's first bath

My confused little man.. He had his days and nights all wrong!

The Most Chill kid EVER.

Baby Shane, I swear it!

Dad and Boston having a little snooze.

Mom and Boston hanging out.

1 week old

One very in love new daddy

12 hours old

Coming home from the hospital.

About 10 minutes old

One very tired new mom

Look at that hair!

First bath at home

Boston Shane Tillotson

Our little family of 3 has now become a little family of 4. We are so excited to have this new bundle of joy. Getting him here was a bit of a challenge. A lot of people have asked how labor and delivery went. Well, for record sake and for the curious population, I will share the entire experience.

At 10:30pm on March 5, 2012, I started to have regular contractions. They were anywhere from 1 minute to 4 minutes apart and they were pretty dang painful. I was reluctant to just head in to the hospital, because at my last check up I was only dilated to a 2 and 60% effaced. So we timed them and we waited it out. Carter had gone with his dad (Which was super nice of him to help out for the week) so all we needed was the right time to get our little Boston out. My induction was scheduled for the 7th, so either way Boston was on his way in a decent amount of time. We left for the hospital at 12:30am on March 6th and we got checked in. I had only dilated a little bit more, but was having some pretty intense contractions. They watched me for an hour and decided to keep us and break my water. I got an epidural and family started showing up. (Keep in mind it was about 3:30am by this point.) They started me on pitocin and things moved really fast from there. I was completely dilated by 6:30am and started pushing at about 6:35am.

Patiently waiting for our new little man

Shane was a nervous wreck. The entire time he was watching monitors, checking on me while I went to the bathroom, holding my hands, feeding me ice water... He was great. When the epidural part came, he was a little nervous. He didn't want to be in the room even. But he stayed with me and held on to me. They missed the first time they put the epidural in, so they started over and I thought Shane would have a fit that they were going to have to stick me with that needle again. He watched my blood pressure, he watched Boston's little heart rate. He was just so full of adrenaline, I was worried he would never come back down!

A very anxious daddy..

At 6:53, on March 6th, 2012, our lives were changed forever as we heard our little Boston cry for the first time. I cried like a fool and Shane was overwhelmed with emotion. He had the sweetest little cry. They pulled him out and laid him on my stomach and Shane just stared in awe. (And took pictures as he was instructed to do so..someday I will share them.)

Boston just minutes old

As they whisked my brand new baby away to check him out, we realized we had some trouble brewing. My doctor said I had a prolapsed uterus and a hysterectomy was a possibility if they couldn't slow the bleeding or get the uterus back into place. I didn't realize how much blood I was losing or how serious it was until I saw Shane's face. He asked over and over again, "What is going on? Is she ok?" To which, no one was responding to. The next thing I know, I have a specialist, 2 residents and my own doctor in there trying to help me. I had the anesthesiologist in there trying to administer medications to help my body let my uterus go back into place and nurses everywhere. I remember looking up at Shane and everyone around me kind of faded away and my ears started to ring. I remember the doctor saying, "Women at this point usually lose consciousness due to loss of blood and shock." I remember looking at my blood pressure that was 80/40. They finally got the dust settled and handed me my perfect new baby. When I sat up, everything went black for a second, I started to feel tightness in my chest, nausea, and I began to cough. I looked over and my blood pressure was 71/36 and a whole team of people came running in. They took the baby from my arms and the next thing I remember, I was flat on my back. They made me have a catheter and wouldn't let me sit up. I was so bummed out. All I wanted to do was love my new baby! So the nurse put him in my arms and helped me hold him. A few hours later, they let me sit up and boy was I one happy little mama to be sitting up holding that baby!

I was so sick, but so happy!

They let me move into a wheel chair and go join Shane and the nurses in the nursery for Boston's bath.

Boston's first bath

A proud Daddy

A proud, super helpful big brother (This is the first time he held Boston)

A mom that looks like she has been hit by a truck, but so happy and thankful for her kids

As for the recovery, I am still working on it. I wish I could feel better, but I am still pale and extremely tired. I am thankful to be home with my kids, though!

What You May Never Understand

You know, I was once a little kid and remember things that never made sense to me. Like, why do parents have to go to work? Or why Christmas was only once a year? I mean, really, those are very real confusions of a child. However, children have this amazing ability to forgive and forget. It blows my mind. I can get so mad at Carter for something, to the point where I feel bad that I was so mad, and 20 minutes later, he is hugging me and telling me how much he loves me. They also have this awesome ability to forget things that they need to remember. How often do I say, "Carter, pick your toys up?" He KNOWS I am going to ask him to pick the toys up. Yet, he acts like I am speaking a foreign language when I ask him. I have noticed, however, when I explain something to him and hold his hand through understanding a concept, he is a whole lot more likely to adapt and understand. We totally still fight about the same crap... picking up toys, not throwing rocks, brushing teeth etc. We are in no way an exception to those tasks. But, if you ask Carter why we brush our teeth, he will simply tell you that if you don't, they will grow bugs in them like the Grinch.

My point? Well, I wish I could be more like a child sometimes. The resilient creatures that they are... How I envy their ability to forgive and forget. They never give up on people. They never intentionally overstep boundaries that are hurtful. (Unless peeing your pants or eating too many sweets hurts you..) You can devastate them by taking away their favorite toy or sticking them in timeout, but at the end of the day, they love you more than you have ever been loved.

What a huge blessing my sweet Carter has been to me and in my life. Sometimes, I just want to crawl in a hole and die, because my day was so hellish. Then I see that face... Those dimples, the giant brown eyes, the smell of his lotion, the tiny hands that fit so perfect in mine, the smile he gets when he sees me after work and I KNOW that there is nothing else in my life that I will cherish more than being a mom, and more so, being Carter's mom. So tomorrow, when I am ready to give the kid to my mom or send him to boarding school, I need to remember that he is my world and nothing will ever change that. He is my greatest accomplishment and I am forever thankful for the joy he continually brings to me.

That's all. (:

Carter Has His Own Language

Just a few funny things that I want to remember Carter saying....

• "Mom, I need a bitamin (Vitamin). My belly is killing me." 
• I let Carter call his dad on the phone one night and it went to his voice mail. It is the lady that says, "You have reached the voice mail of _______." Carter gets a disgusted look on his face and says, "I cannot talk to that. It isn't my dad! It's a girl!" 
• "Ohh mom! You just scared me to crap!" (I think he meant you scared the crap out of me...) 
• "Mom, how is this baby going to get out? I need to see the hole."
• "Mom, can we listen to Talkin' Bout it?" (Funkytown by the Chipmunks)
• Carter will ask me a question and if I take more then .5 seconds to answer, he will say, "Mom, you are not using your ears. Can you talk?" 
• "When my brother gets out after your belly opens up, I am going to hold him and wrap him in his own blanket. He can have his own. Not mine."
• "Hey Shane, should we wrestle?" 
• "Hey mom, what in the hell is that smell? I think I pooped." 
• Me: "Carter you need to help pick up these toys. This is ridiculous." Carter: "Mom, I can't pick up these toys. I am sick and it is ridiculous." 
• "Mommy, you are my best friend. I love you."
• "Hi, my mom is Kelsie. My dad lives in Utah and he does not love my mom." (He said this to a few of my upper management co-workers....)
• "I am so glad that when Boston gets out, he is going to live with Grandma Leslie."
• On Christmas, well two days before, I had to drop Carter off to be with his dad. I seriously cried my eyes out. I was so sad. He said to me, "Mommy, are you crying because Shane is mean to you?" (The irony is, he has never seen Shane ever be mean to me and make me cry. That is merely an assumption of a 3 year-old.)
• January 4th, 2012..."Hey mom, I am so excited for Santa Claus to come and see me and my little brother Boston." 
• "I have a Grandpa Craig. Mom, did you know he is your dad?" (The kid wants to analyze everyone and their siblings, parents etc.) 
• He sings the Luke Bryan song, "Country Girl" as follows: "Country girl shake it for Shane, girl."
• He said to me the other day as I was holding him on my hip, "Mom, I just love boobs."

He is seriously a spitfire. (Wonder where he got that from?) I would be bored to the extreme without him around.

Look at that face... I couldn't possibly love him more. Flipping goofball.

Sometimes, not very often, I feel bad for Shane. Carter climbs all over him at all times.

Carter looking at the river. Me being a NERVOUS WRECK. Water makes me so nervous.

The men playing basketball

Carter just being a boy

If I never have anything else in my life.... I have this. Every single day. Sigh. I am so lucky.