After a divorce, a run at dating and a little confusion about what a "Boyfriend" is supposed to treat you like, I decided that this is my life. If I want to Facebook or blog, I shouldn't feel guilty about it. I also needed a clean slate. I dated some really fun people. I dated some really crazy people. I dated one on a fairly regular basis that did some damage. Whatever the case, it was my fault for letting him in. I call it my detour. (: It was a necessary detour, because I now know that no matter what, I am just Kelsie and if someone can't handle it, they don't deserve it. (Sorry sweet S, you were always consistent and never made me feel like a burden. Thank you for never giving up. I love you.) For those of you that have been married for a while and never been divorced and thrown back in the dating scene, it totally sucks. I have made the best of it. It is just so ironic how you truly forget how to date or maintain a relationship on that level. I was used to being married. Not "Dating" or "Being in a relationship."
For a while post divorce, I was anti marriage, anti relationships and anti commitment on any level. Now, I am not so opposed to it. (Obviously, I do have a boyfriend..) It is a miraculous thing what the human mind and body can do to keep you protected while you "Heal" from a devastating event in your life.
What happened between Clayton and I will never be written out for the world to read. It is completely unnecessary. Clayton is a great dad to my son and we are co-parenting just fine. That is all that matters....Carter. I will always want what is best for Clayton and I will always want him happy. I know I have certainly been able to move forward and find complete happiness with the situation. Kumbaya, Clayton, and whomever reads this that will run and tell him. (Yes, it happens. I don't really care.)
In answering the common questions, here it goes:
- Why in the world did you delete your Facebook? A: Because it was drama. I made a new one and the people causing the drama aren't my friends on there. I also needed a fresh start. It has been great and drama free.
- You used to date this kid that was tall with dark hair. Shane isn't the one with tall dark hair. What happened? A: I wish that boy well. Nope, he isn't Shane. In fact, Shane and that boy are polar opposites. Just didn't work out.
- Are you ever going to get married again? A: Yes. I will get married again. I am going to be very cautious. I am only doing it one more time so I better make it count! (I cannot believe I am actually able to admit that. Wouldn't have happened 6 months ago.)
- What is your biggest fear about being single? A: I was single for a while and I liked it fine. It is hard to go from being married to nothing, but I learned a ton about myself. It is lonely sometimes, but I have my little man and he has been my solid through all of this. Fear about single life was just that I would never find someone that I could spend forever with. Forever is a long time and I have perspective as to how hard it can get. That is a bonus. I know EXACTLY what I want now and I know EXACTLY how I should treat the person I love. They will never go a single day wondering.