After a divorce, a run at dating and a little confusion about what a "Boyfriend" is supposed to treat you like, I decided that this is my life. If I want to Facebook or blog, I shouldn't feel guilty about it. I also needed a clean slate. I dated some really fun people. I dated some really crazy people. I dated one on a fairly regular basis that did some damage. Whatever the case, it was my fault for letting him in. I call it my detour. (: It was a necessary detour, because I now know that no matter what, I am just Kelsie and if someone can't handle it, they don't deserve it. (Sorry sweet S, you were always consistent and never made me feel like a burden. Thank you for never giving up. I love you.) For those of you that have been married for a while and never been divorced and thrown back in the dating scene, it totally sucks. I have made the best of it. It is just so ironic how you truly forget how to date or maintain a relationship on that level. I was used to being married. Not "Dating" or "Being in a relationship."
For a while post divorce, I was anti marriage, anti relationships and anti commitment on any level. Now, I am not so opposed to it. (Obviously, I do have a boyfriend..) It is a miraculous thing what the human mind and body can do to keep you protected while you "Heal" from a devastating event in your life.
What happened between Clayton and I will never be written out for the world to read. It is completely unnecessary. Clayton is a great dad to my son and we are co-parenting just fine. That is all that matters....Carter. I will always want what is best for Clayton and I will always want him happy. I know I have certainly been able to move forward and find complete happiness with the situation. Kumbaya, Clayton, and whomever reads this that will run and tell him. (Yes, it happens. I don't really care.)
In answering the common questions, here it goes:
- Why in the world did you delete your Facebook? A: Because it was drama. I made a new one and the people causing the drama aren't my friends on there. I also needed a fresh start. It has been great and drama free.
- You used to date this kid that was tall with dark hair. Shane isn't the one with tall dark hair. What happened? A: I wish that boy well. Nope, he isn't Shane. In fact, Shane and that boy are polar opposites. Just didn't work out.
- Are you ever going to get married again? A: Yes. I will get married again. I am going to be very cautious. I am only doing it one more time so I better make it count! (I cannot believe I am actually able to admit that. Wouldn't have happened 6 months ago.)
- What is your biggest fear about being single? A: I was single for a while and I liked it fine. It is hard to go from being married to nothing, but I learned a ton about myself. It is lonely sometimes, but I have my little man and he has been my solid through all of this. Fear about single life was just that I would never find someone that I could spend forever with. Forever is a long time and I have perspective as to how hard it can get. That is a bonus. I know EXACTLY what I want now and I know EXACTLY how I should treat the person I love. They will never go a single day wondering.
The font you have..it is so...Kelsie. I feel like I'm reading a note you wrote me, like in junior high/high school.
ReplyDeleteWell, I am just happy you're happy!
I love you Kels. I love this post. You are right, you don't owe anyone an explanation but sometimes it feels good to get it out.
ReplyDeleteThank you girls. :) Sometimes it does feel good. I get sick and dang tired of repeating myself.
ReplyDeleteI love That you can just say how it is you deserve to be happy and not let anything get in your way!!!
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